Adventuring in Ad Jungle Day 1

(in media res)

So here I was, confronted with the opportunity of a lifetime. This sort of stuff almost never happens to me. While reading about the many hardships of Britney Spears (don't judge her, she had a hard life ya'll), I received a pop-up message. A message that could truly make me believe this whole internet thing really could be worth it.

Picture it for yourselves: two cartoon men standing side by side wearing multi-colored spandex. Each of them holding humongous barbells in front of them. Immediately my interest was piqued. "What's this here?", I said to myself. Under the two men were words, no,scratch that, instructions.

"Lift weights faster than the weightlifter to win a PS3*!!!"

My heart skipped a beat and I forgot to breathe. A PS3? I'd heard of those. Hey, in fact, I had just decided that I wanted one. Who doesn't like games, right? And plus, if I didn't want it I could always sell it. That's literally hundreds of dollars of income. That would easily solve all my problems...

No, slow down Sean. You're getting ahead of yourself. You haven't even beat the video game boss yet. The guy's muscles were huge and rippling while my character's were significantly smaller. I like to think of myself as a resourceful fellow, able to adapt in a multitude of situations, but never had I ever felt more challenged than with this feat. There was so much riding on it. The pressure could easily derail my chances.

As I sat there in my chair sweating and thinking I looked out the corner of my eye and realized that the enemy weightlifter had already started lifting the weights. Oh shit! I could feel the PS3 slipping from my grasps. I spotted the large red button labeled "Press Here" in the game window. Ok, put up or shut up. This was my chance to beat an expert weightlifter at what he did best, at his life's work. The odds were stacked up against me, but still I began clicking the button with a fierceness rarely seen on Mondays. Could I catch up?

My fingers were on fire as I clicked my mouse in rapid succession. My enemy's completion bar was being filled so quickly that for a while I doubted my chances, yet still I forged ahead filling my bar until it matched his. Our match reached the final stretch, my opponent seemed to be losing steam and though my fingers ached I pushed through the pain. I smiled as my completion bar was filled to the top. Suddenly all animation stopped. I jumped out of my chair and yelled at the top of my lungs. Luckily none of my roommates were home or they would've been wondering what was going on. Plus, I'd be reluctant to show them how to get their own PS3's because if everyone I knew had a PS3 than why would they ever want to hang out with me?

Nope, they gotta spend time with me to play my future super-cool games.

But anyway, back to the story. I was transported to a page with a form. It asked for my name, phone number, e-mail address, credit card #, and my friend's info, so I entered all that stuff into the form. Gosh, I didn't know that it took so much work to win free stuff. But it doesn't really matter, because now I'm on easy street. I am currently counting down the days until I get my brand new game system.

Which got me thinking. I'm not sure which games I want. I'm not really a fan of action or shooting games. I think I wanna get Tetris. Oooh, and Crazy Taxi! I hope they have Crazy Taxi! Man, you sure can drive crazy in those games. Also I'm gonna go to the store tomorrow and start stocking up on Blu-Ray DVDs to accompany my new system.

But don't think I'm just some shallow person who gets everything handed to him through pop-up internet games. I'm also gonna begin investing in more charitable causes. I got this e-mail from a duke in Nigeria (yeah, they have those, don't be so ignorant and racist), who's coming to America soon, and he needs to use my bank account to transfer some money. If you know me, you know how eager I am to help the people of Nigeria in any way possible so I agreed. He even agreed to leave a little leftover money in my account ;) .

Life is going so good for me right now. I don't think anything could ruin my mood for the next week. No, scratch that. For the next year!!!!!